Season’s Musings.

I’m broke, tired and lonely.
The only two adjectives that are missing would be old and cold.
How is it that my favourite holiday can bring such holiday jeer to my life? It’s quite fascinating, really. I read in our local newspaper that the holiday season brings bouts of depression to people because of the cold weather and because the what-you-dont-haves are exaggerated in view of the jolly, merry general atmosphere.
But then again, how is it that people who are blessed with so much feel such emotional dips?

As the new year of 2008 looms infront of us, many amongst ourselves may be making mental checklists of what we have achieved over the twelve long months of 2007, and what lies ahead. To be honest, I felt 2007 zoomed past too quickly, in a flash. It feels like years ago since I received my last proper paycheck and a relatively plump bank account. As I scrape the bottom of the barrel, I find myself wondering really how I had gotten myself in this situation. It is a phenomenon. The very interesting bit was adapting to a student’s life again. And living off your parents at the grand ol’ age of 23 (going on 24), is hardly something to be proud of. Next year, I am getting a real, real job. Something that will actually pay my bills and let me have proper dinners. It is times like these I ask myself how is it I had the courage to abandon that life, fully knowing that this was going to be it in a couple of months. I had to eat humble pie and ask for help, something that I try my best not to do in other situations. But since it’s family, I’m guessing it’s alright. The circle will evetually complete. I actually cannot wait for 2008 to come. 2007 has been like all years a rollercoaster, a relatively quiet one to the dramatic year before, but it still had its absolute highs and downright lows. But what matters most is that I have my loved ones right next to me as we usher in 2008, despite the drama.

The new year heralds much for me. It’s a brand new start. A shining beacon of light. (insert any other allegory you deem fit) For once, it’s a first time, in a long long time, I’m actually truly, absolutely single on New Year’s Eve. I have learned that this is not a bad thing. The time alone has made me learn a lot about myself and reevaluate what I want and more importantly, what I need. Nobody owes me anything, and likewise, I don’t owe anyone anything. Not now anyway. I’m keeping my heart safe for the moment. I need to step into 2008 with a clear, level-headed mind. Apparently, I’m coming across as unemotional and aloof, but it’s necessary. Consider it an investment for my future sanity. : )

What I am most excited about is moving into our new place. Having lived at the end of the MRT line on the East side, it is absolutely fantastic to have an MRT station right at your doorstep. I feel so much closer to civilisation and the journeys don’t tire me, and my make-up doesnt melt. It takes me about half an hour to get to Harbour Front. More importantly, I need the new space. And I’m loving my new room. It is nearly three fifths the size of my current room, but I am not complaining. It gives me an excuse to clear my old junk and make space for more. The family has bonded over the new place and we’re extremely thrilled. It’s coming along perfectly. Thanks to a few of my closest and dearest friends, my two major sources of wealth-depletion, ie. clothes and books, have been shifted over. Raji dearest commanded me to get rid of clothes that I hadn’t worn in ages. I’m going to write about space saving soon. I’ve learned so much!

Well. I think I have rattled on long enough. At this current moment, many things hang on a balance right now, and I have no idea on what note the new year is going to start. But I’m going to end with a line I heard on the cruise that I went for recently, and how true this is: You’re not here for a long time. You’re here for a good time. So get out there!

Cheers, and season’s greetings to all.

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5 Responses to “Season’s Musings.”

  1. merry xmas, sweetheart! :)

  2. Heehee…I didn’t tell u this before, but I shall today. I felt really bad making u throw away clothes the other day! I hate clearing out my closet & despise throwing away clothes! Boo hoo! I’m such a pack rat.

    U’ve got to help me clean up my room when I move back to Sg later this year. There’s quite a chance I’ll sneeze half my room to goodness knows where first though.

    Love u! Merry 2008! *hug*

  3. desdemonadarcei Says:

    Happy New Year Babe. May this year beat the ass out of last year. :D Chin up lady.

  4. Raji: Anytime darling! Anytime!! hug. Thanks for the lovely NYE!

    Desdemonadarcei: Happy new year to you too love! It’ll be a great year. *hug*

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