Archive for October, 2007

Gone.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on October 30, 2007 by meera

Gone.

There, there.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on October 28, 2007 by meera

Just one step closer to the plunging darkness.

Goodness and Darkness.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on October 23, 2007 by meera

Sometimes, when you know just how good and loving and beautifulĀ a person really is,
whom you grew to and learned to love,
you want nothing but his heart to be filled with only happiness and peace, and this takes over your own selfish thoughts,
and should there not be that happiness and peace,
your insides break,
and your days are overshadowed with darkness,
and only that.

Down and Up again.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on October 20, 2007 by meera

I spent five precious days worrying about something really not worth my time, and that honestly, doesn’t concern me.
Maybe because I still care.
But I’m sure everyone here are adults, more than able to take care of themselves.
What I can do however, is to make sure I’m there when I am needed.
As long as this thing does not affect me or my life, and people I care about, I am not going to bother.
If no one’s unhappy, what’s the biggie?
What I feel about things does not change, but what I said, perhaps was wrong.
I am feeling rather silly at the moment, but I have faced it upfront, and am feeling much better.

What will happen, will happen.
And if I have no control over it, so be it.
I should just look into the horizon, and at the bigger picture, and think about the more important things in my life.
I can’t believe it took a few days of self-imposed exile from life in general to clear my head, a dinner with a friend, and a bus journey with music plugged in to realise all these things.

Man.
I am one emotional roller coaster.
But I’m glad it’s back on track.
Some bridges have been mildly burnt, and some got stronger.
I’m not sure if it’s too late to fix it.
But well, I’ll try.

What’s important now, is that I’m back to being indifferent.
And that says something.

Relief.

Disgust.Dislike.Disrespect.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on October 18, 2007 by meera

I’m feeling too much of these over the past few weeks.
And I dont like it.
It’s not natural.
But I’m still feeling it.
And now I’m hearing things. I wish they would stop.

I can’t stand it.
Just. Can’t.

Dejavu.

Munbe Vaa.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on October 18, 2007 by meera

Had the misfortune of hearing this on TV today.
An extract from one of my favourite Tamil songs.
Completely lovely.
(Somehow the lyrics look better in Tamil.)
Backflips.Heart.Backflips.Stop.

Thenmallai therkuku nee thaan
Unthan tholgalil idam tharalaama
Naan saayum tholmael
Verorum sayinthaalae
Thagumaa

Neerum, senthoola cherum
Kalanthathu pollae
Kalanthaval thaan

Munbe vaa, yen anbe vaa
Oonu vaa, uyire vaa
Munbe vaa, yen anbe vaa
Poo poovai, poopom vaa

Loss.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on October 18, 2007 by meera

I feel like I’m slowly losing.
Although, I’m guessing that I had already lost a long time ago.
I’m not sure if I can or want to stop this,
but it’s a feeling laced with dislike, disgust and disrespect with the truth of the matter,
and I’m not sure if I can force a smile, and beam, and love and adore like my heart tells me to…

I’m truly at a loss, truly.