Archive for August, 2007

Darn Retainers.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on August 30, 2007 by meera

I should be doing my assignment and eating briyani with my friend and watching TV and doing normal things.
But it’s really funny how a pain in your mouth can completely suck all joy from normal day-to-day activities. I was very inspired to write an entry on The One as I last commented, but I am a bit too distracted.

I’m wondering if this pain is worth it. I actually tear. It reminds me of the times where I had to get my braces tightened every month. It was sheer torture. And while my whole mouth used to hurt for one day, a single tooth plus the bone and gum above it is hurting terribly now. I can’t eat, can’t move my mouth, it just completely sucks. That’s all I can say. I’m wondering if I should just live with a slightly tipped tooth. Apparently, no one except me can see the difference. It’s a very very slight tilt, but I want to curb it before it gets worse and too obvious. Then, all the efforts over 4 years would go down the drain.

Crap. I only have one word now (other than crap), Ow. Major, major Ow.

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Fighting.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on August 22, 2007 by meera

Right now, I’m getting slightly jaded, and am feeling like no one should fight for anything, and I want to stay away from conflict with a ten-foot pole, or longer, whichever. Feeling very melancholic.

The question as you grow older is, when is something worth fighting for?

Am I?

Ah.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on August 21, 2007 by meera

“On one level, I didn’t expect to fall in love… But, honestly, I also felt like this was the person I’d been waiting for. There was a feeling of relief – a feeling of ‘Oh, here you are, finally.'”

-Julianna Baggott, It’s A Wonderful Lie: 26 Truths About Life in Your Twenties

Life after.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on August 19, 2007 by meera

Well.
The past one month has been rather eventful and stressful.
But I am actually surprised at the way I’m handling things.
While I miss a great deal of things, I am truly amazed at how things are turning out.
For once, I actually feel relieved, and happier.
Even though I was happy, I realised that there was a lot of bitterness in me. And this bitterness actually translated itself into other relationships I had with people.
Not a good thing, I have come to realise.
Once in a while, I break down into tears. They come fast and furious, with the choking throat, the knot bursting and then tears. So many memories, in such a short time. But as harsh as the outbursts are, they last for a short while and they go away as fast as they come. It’s worse because I don’t have any ill feelings towards anyone, and I only wish the very very best, because that is what they deserve. Truly. :)

My friends and my family, again, are absolutely amazing, and are rock solid.
Nothing short of that.
I have said it once, and I will say it again, I am immensely, immensely blessed.
Which is why I probably have so much of love to give.
It is only when you are truly happy, can you channel this happiness outwards, to make a difference in someone else’s life.

On a lighter note, my appointment book is getting fuller and fuller. Making plans to meet friends I have not met in ages. WOMAD beckons as well, but uh, I have not gotten the tickets yet. As for school, I am taking some time to get used to the idea of school. I have tons of readings to do for tomorrow, and I have not started, which means that I ought to stop philosophising on life and get some real work done. I am off. :)

The Horrors of School Beckon.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on August 18, 2007 by meera

Uh Oh.
I logged onto the IVLE webpage and saw the little, red Announcement button flashing.
I clicked on it and tada! I have an assignment due in two weeks.
I also realise that I have some readings to obtain for Monday’s lecture.
I am one lost sheep.
It has been ages and honestly, my modules aren’t giving me time to breathe!
(Actually, in all honesty, I have been bumming like a big, great bum.)
Time to pull up my socks, and switch to high gear. I’ve to force myself to drag my sorry self to school at least 4 times a week to study or something. Otherwise, I am never ever going to do myself justice.

Assignments.
Due.
Ah. Words that I have not heard in a long, long time.
The welcome evils of school. =)

Are you on Facebook yet?

Posted in Archive - All Entries on August 17, 2007 by meera

With the rapid degradation of Friendster, where viewing people’s profiles causes your laptop to suddenly sing very loudly in the dead of the night, annoying backgrounds with psychedelic colours or where you get crazy adds from the most random of people, Facebook has now become my next online tool to waste time. For a while, I was using http://www.thefreedictionary.com to waste my while away, playing wordgames and spelling bee, and then Lo and Behold, Facebook proved its worth. Not only does it do a better job at filtering weird people out, its strict white and blue theme that cannot be changed keeps things very neat. You can upload many photographs, write on friends’ walls, buy them drinks, throw food at them, cast Harry Potter spells on them and even get them gifts. Of course, there are so many other things such as putting up your favourite books and movies.

Now all of these, begs this question, why? Why do people log onto the world wide web to do all these things online? I think it’s because many of us live in isolation- away from friends and family. Geographical and emotional wise. Sure, we go out and meet them, but at the end of the day, late at night, insomnia strikes, and what do we do? We log on and start throwing chocolate sauce and TV dinners at friends. And don’t forget, how about all those times when you are supposed to be doing an important reading/assignment/homework due a week/day/hour from now? Enter Facebook. The ultimate time occupier. I’m also reconnecting with those few good friends that I miss and have not seen in a long, long time.

Well. I will stop now. I have been struck by an awful flu bug that is going around and my fever acts up now and then, coupled with the bodyache and clogged nose. My craving for a nice cold glass of Passionfruit Margarita is not helping things. Dammit. I’m suddenly wondering what was the whole point of typing out this entry… ah, I remember. I have a reading due.. in 3 hours from now. Off I go. TV beckons. :)

Contraire.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on August 16, 2007 by meera

I don’t miss you. I don’t miss you. I don’t miss you.

But I heard your voice tonight, and you spoke about caring for me, and that which I don’t deserve, and I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. And I couldn’t lie any longer.

And again, the dam broke.

I’m sorry.