Archive for June, 2007

Our Song

Posted in Archive - All Entries, Prose & Poetry on June 26, 2007 by meera

The music flowing through my earphones and into my heart and being brings me to a world.
A world where only you and I exist.
Where you hold me by my waist, and swing me around.
Where I laugh, with my hair blowing madly in the wind, my head eventually landing on your chest.
Where I close my eyes, and feel your fingers through my hair, as we smile.

I suddenly realise that that was only a vision, and here I am on the road again, with my earphones plugged in.
But it doesn’t matter. I am smiling. Your love for me makes me smile. Your crazed love. You make me smile, for no reason at all. And it is then, my steps are light, my head is light, and I feel beautiful. Truly beautiful.

Lay me down, Take me whole.

Posted in Archive - All Entries, Prose & Poetry on June 25, 2007 by meera

Through the course of our lives, through the daily grind, we come across a few songs that sink into our souls. They hit something and want you to believe in unconditional love. The ideal love. Most of the time, it is songs in Tamil, my mother tongue, that do me in. I will shamefully admit that my Tamil is not as good I want it to be, but I understand and I fall in love with the lyrics, and fall in love with the idea of being in this state of ideal love.

Recently, I’ve been listening to these songs which have a village flavour to them. And it’s just something in the lyrics. Like magic. It’s those songs with magic. Which do things to your mind, heart and soul. You just want to give everything to that one man. You want to do everything to please him. To smell his skin, and touch his face, and graze his arms and take him in. And when you kiss, and his lips press open against yours, you taste him and it is magic. Hungry and satiated, at the same time. And when his grip around you tightens, you breathe deeply and will the moment to not end. You give yourself up. And don’t hold anything back. You will him to take you whole. Everything yours is his. Everything.

You want only the best for him, as you may want for your own child, and you cry and sob to the depths of your heart when that does not happen. Total surrender. Total magic. And it hurts. But you smile at the pain. Only for him.

How surreal. How happy. How contented.

chekirov.jpg
Chekirov, Tender Passion

Arranged Marriages.

Posted in Archive - All Entries, Prose & Poetry on June 18, 2007 by meera

Yes, I’ll marry you.
I know your name. I know your face.
But not intimately.
We have spoken- bits and pieces of casual conversation, laced with mild anxiety and excitement.

We have spent our lives apart. I do not know your friends. And you do not know mine.
I do not know your family. Except for random information like their names and where they stay and what they do.
I have heard of the country you live in, but I have never stepped foot there.
I’ve dreamed though, a lot.

We will sit beside each other, on the wedding dias.
Watching the fire, with thoughts racing. The priest will gesture, but we will not understand.
Beyond the fire, the sea of faces and colourful sarees and jasmine flowers.
Strangers. Side by side.
In a few minutes, you will take the holy thread from the priest and lean towards me.
With my eyes shut, I will feel your fingers fiddling behind my neck, tying the three knots, sealing our marriage infront of our Gods.
When my eyes open, the world will look different. Everything will look different, and I will feel my cheeks reddening.
You smile, and subconsciously hold my hand, the little girls and women around us giggling.
Husband and wife.

Yes, I will marry you. I will learn about you. Just like how you will learn about me.
Our histories- full and colourful, packed away in little boxes, that we will discover from time to time,
admidst suprised giggles and little flashes of jealousy.
But it won’t matter anymore, for I’ll be yours and you, mine.

I will learn what pleases you. And what doesn’t.
I will learn what makes you smile, and what causes that little furrow between your eyebrows.
I will learn the smell of your skin and the way your neck feels.
I will also learn the sound of your footsteps.
I will learn how our hands fit, in the day and at night.

We will read to each other and walk.
Sunsets will look different, as will sunrises.
Sunday afternoons will be quiet, and we will sit by our window, sip our teas, and count our blessings.
We’ll attend family functions and festivities, husband and wife.
As plates of Indian sweets get passed around, relatives wonder about our unsual union, especially in times like these.
“Arranged marriage, it seems. She, at that! How did she agree?”
I overhear and smile, you too. Later that night as we undress, we laugh.
How did this happen? Strangers only weeks ago, but lives forever intertwined.
It always was, but we never knew.
Destiny.

Yes, I will marry you.

indianwedding04.jpg

Blessed.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on June 16, 2007 by meera

One of the things that put me off are assumptions.
And in the past 1/2 an hour, I heard the most assumptions one can make in a single conversation.
I tried explaining, but then realised, it was not going anywhere. And I let it be.
I thought it will make me extremely upset, but when I put the phone down, somehow everything dissipitated.
Anyone can think what he or she wants to think. But if you know for yourself, what you think, and what you believe in, and you stick with it with all your heart, you’ll realise that it doesnt matter what anyone thinks.

I am immensely blessed for the very few people that are nearest to my heart.
Just blessed. And I am grateful for that.

Come Undone

Posted in Archive - All Entries, Prose & Poetry on June 14, 2007 by meera

“Come Undone”

Mine, immaculate dream made breath and skin
I’ve been waiting for you
Signed, with a home tattoo,
Happy birthday to you was created for you

Can’t ever keep from falling apart
At the seams
Can’t I believe you’re taking my heart
To pieces

Oh, it’ll take a little time,
Might take a little crime
To come undone now

We’ll try to stay blind
To the hope and fear outside
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
And blow me in to cry

Who do you need, who do you love
When you come undone

Words, playing me deja vu
Like a radio tune I swear I’ve heard before
Chill, is it something real
Or the magic I’m feeding off your fingers

Can’t ever keep from falling apart
At the seams
Can I believe you’re taking my heart
To pieces

Lost, in a snow filled sky, we’ll make it alright
To come undone now