Confronting the Choices that will Change the Path of My Life.

I’m all of twenty-three.
I feel old, and young at the same time.
And I have been confronted with a very difficult choice to make, and it is getting increasingly difficult as my brain tries to sort these issues out and navigate the way.
As a fresh graduate, you start off with high hopes and brace yourself for disappointments, but somehow over the course of months of job-hunting, you realise that the world cannot be seen in rose-tinted glasses. So, what happens next? A cushy job comes along. A comfortable, secure job comes a long, and you take it. And this is where my predicament starts. I love my job. I like what I’m doing, but I don’t see myself here in the next 5 years. It’s not something I’ve always wanted to do since I was a kid, but it is enough, if you know what I mean.

Yesterday, a proposition was made to me. An offer. It’s in the private sector, and it certainly does not guarantee a stable income, but I know that at least, I will have personal freedom there. It’s by no means an easy job. It’s not as mind-numbing as what I am doing now. It’s exciting. It’s dynamic. It’s fairly new territory that I have been exposed to previously, but now it is a far too tempting offer. And this time, my parents have given their blessings. And I am torn. Only 1/2 a year through my job, and I have already set up a comfort zone which I swore not to have. But things happen.

At 23, do you settle for the first cushy thing that comes around? Or do you keep looking? Suddenly, the answer seems more obvious. I do have no commitments at the current moment, but in a stable job, you have steady income and the money comes in every month without fail. No worries. How is it that I used to be a creature that refused to be trapped in society’s expectations? The typical- Graduate, Civil Servant, Car, HDB route that I loathed. How is it that suddenly,I find it difficult to break out of this comfort zone? That I don’t hate this typical route anymore. It’s frightening.

Occasionally at work, I find something stirring in me. The self-questioning. The contemplation. The quintessential “Why am I here?” question. Because I know that there are some very dear friends out there, tell me, if you were in a similar situation.. what would you do? I know what I should do.. but asking what I would do seems to give an entirely different picture… Why this difference?

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5 Responses to “Confronting the Choices that will Change the Path of My Life.”

  1. Queen of Drama. Says:

    1. if u have nobody depending on u who will suffer as a result of the times that u may be tight on income.
    2. if ur parents approve
    3. if you have no commitments like u claim (ur study loan repayment?)

    THEN I SAY GO FOR ITTTTT!
    U can only explore like this when u are young, babe, and if I was in the situation you are in, I would go for it! =)

    but remember, when u go for something, go wholeheartedly, no half-heartedness!! NONE AT ALL.

  2. Forget societal expectations & norms babe. There’s only one person you have to live with for the rest of your life. Yourself. I think if you want the chance to explore new options, you should take the opportunity when they come around. If it’s something that there’s even the slightest chance that you might regret, then its worth a lot of thought.
    And on the practical side, the Queen’s three considerations criteria looks good!

    And just because I watched the movie last night, and the line kinda stuck in my head:
    It’s the worst kind of extravagance, wasting chances.
    ~Hope Floats~
    =P Love u!

  3. Queen: my study loan is okay. they’re quite flexible. and i have quite some time to clear it. although i know the faster i clear, the better. its so scary. just scary tt i have built up this comfort zone so fast. and so young. i dont think it shld be the way..

    Raji: I know… but this new thing, will suck my life. No such concept as weekends or public holidays. But it’s exciting! :) ahhh. Thanks my dears. I really really appreciate this..

  4. i would tell you to go for it. because u will never be truly satisfied if u didnt and you went bout your day. it will bug u..you know..the “what if i had done that instead.”. so! i suggest you go for it. as long the opportunity cost of attempting it is not too high! :) love ya babe.

  5. Lavathena: Thanks sweetheart! I shall remember my ELDDS motto: Carpe Diem! :)

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