Memoirs of a Working, Single Woman.

I laugh a little as I re-read the title of this post. I am working, and I am single, but it just doesn’t seem true. I don’t consider my job as a career, although I certainly am single. It is strange how fast time flies. I have been without a Significant Other for the past nearly eight months. I say it as though it is a big deal. It definitely is for me, given the fact that I was not without one for about 3.5 years. And although I thought I would never see the light at the end of the dark, dark tunnel, I had not too long ago arrived at the realisation that I have never been better off. And I only have the Goddess to thank for it. It is refreshing to finally see the light in my life. No one to report to (now you realise that there is actually no need for reporting), no lies being showered on your head, an immense refreshing of self-respect and respect for your family. Trust and love. The fresh air, the beauty, the love and the way it is supposed to be. Trust me, there are ways that things are supposed to be. They follow the natural law, and your instinct will know it. The moment something feels off, whether it is in your career/academic pursuits/relationships/family, it is because something is not the way it is supposed to be. And many a time, we defiantly choose to ignore our gut feeling, which in retrospect will be a terrible thing to do.

I do not consider my present job as a career, because it seems very soul-less. I wish I was driven by money. Instead, like many sorry cases, I’m driven by ideals and passion. I know a man who is blessed enough to have had the fortune of pursuing his passion as a career, and through him, I have realised what passion truly is. It is living it. Breathing it. Thinking about it. Day & Night. Deriving an acute pleasure by simply talking about it- be it a light-hearted chat, or an indepth technical discussion. I look at him and wonder what my passion is, where my heart lies.

The only thing that seems to come to my mind is Literature. While many were read Fairytales as children, my mother fed me on Shakespeare as I grew up. Although I did not understand much, as a three year old child listening to the abridged version of Shakespeare, I was fascinated by the musical-sounding names- Shylock, Verona, Macbeth, Othello, Juliet. I was intrigued by this old English- Thou, Thee, Wherefore. Simplistic pleasures. As I grew older, the only lesson that I looked forward to was Literature. The only subject I aced was Literature. How do I make this a career? Sometimes I think a lot, but do very little.

On the romance front, for those little curious cats, I’ll make this clear. (I’m having a Siti Nurhaliza-announcing-to-the-world-her-wedding-to-a-divorced-man-nearly-twice-her-age-and-with-four-kids moment.) I am seeing someone (duh), however, however, nothing is official yet. We are not getting married. We do not have a house. We do not have a joint bank account. So far, the most committed thing we have done is to spend a truly amazing time at WOMAD together, with some of my most amazing friends.

It’s funny how you tell yourself that there is no way you can love again. And then when the time comes, you find it so hard to let go of that self-made promise, and stubbornly hold on to your heart, although you know intuitively deep inside that this has to be right. There will come a time where I will tell you about this man, who has made a significantly positive difference in my life. The only thing I am qualified to say now is that I am immensely blessed to have met him. The rest my dears, is another story for another day. :)

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P.S: Susana Baca’s voice is breath-taking. Her band was excellent. What a lovely night, it was. My first WOMAD! Yay! Honestly, every one has to attend at least one WOMAD event in their lives. Jimmy Cliff was fantastic. He got everyone, at least a 1000 dancers and non-dancers in the audience on their feet. He converted two left feet to twinkle toes as everyone grooved to his Jamaican beat. Amazing. Still reeling in its afterglow. :) Good thing I got the CD to keep reliving the music. :P


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