Who have you lost?

I’m not a huge fan of Amy Tan what with her Orientalism and such, but I was reading a short prose of hers in a collection of other stories, “Did My Mother Like To Dance?” (ed. Geeta Kothari), when I came across something that struck a chord in me. She paraphrased an emotion that I have been feeling within me that have been varying in extent and intensity over the past few months but that which I have been having difficulty articulating. But she did.

This is the saddest part when you lose someone you love- that person keeps changing. And later you wonder, Is this the same person I lost? Maybe you lost more, maybe less, ten thousand different things that come from your memory or imagination- and you do not know which is which, which was true, which is false.” – Ten Thousand Things

4 Responses to “Who have you lost?”

  1. i guess thats when we got to distinguish between the person we loved, the person we lost and the person they have come to be. the “man”(assumption in this case) that you loved was definitely a mixture of your own expectations as well as his own various personalities. the person lost could be thought of to be the person you loathe as well since this loss often happens in unhappy circumstances. and the person they have come to be is just a result of both. i’ve become very confuzzling, no? ah well..

  2. haha it’s all a confuzzlation i tell you. but you know girl, after a while, does it really matter? the only time this becomes an issue is when you literally sit down and think back, and then you wonder. unfortunately, there’s also a variable involved in this equation. Changing personalities, some seem to be able to be moulded easier. Like Brad Pitt and his matching hairstyles dependning on his current beau. So who is he exactly? Looks like I have digressed. :)

  3. ahh then the point just becomes that my love for Brad Pitt just doesn’t change no matter how his heart and hair changes.. sigh..

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