Strange sightings.

I went for an ethnic event yesterday held at a community center. Met so many people. From my secondary school, to old friends (what a sad term), to friends, and friends of friends, ex-crushes, and the Ex  (*drum roll please*). As he walked in, he couldn’t see me, but I could, since I was seated, among small gasps from my friends, and ‘tsk-tsk-ing’. It was rather surreal.

Anyway. I have finally seen what I was waiting to see for a very long time. Although I’ve heard a lot, involuntarily and voluntarily, and heard about other sightings, there was something in me that had to witness this phenomenon personally. And I did. I was expecting some grand build-up to a volatile volcanic eruption, but upon that sight, I felt a little less than a fly rustling its tiny wings. I smiled, looked down, shook my head a little and that was that. Two years ago, things were a lot more different. At the very same hall, I was on stage. And he was there.

I guess life is such. You can never prepare yourself for how life will unravel itself in two years. Well. As long as everyone is happy I guess, why should it matter? My mild confusion shouldn’t count.

Another strange thing happened. Or rather didn’t happen. People have asked me why I have not moved on. Why I can’t commit. I said something along the lines of I had to see him move on first, before I could. And although I now have, nothing much has changed in me. I am still a little terrified of the word commitment. Or as oblivious as a cow grazing on a field of marijuana. ;) But, I think that’s another story for another day.

However, as I sat there with my friends, who shared in my mild amazement, I felt like a better person, a stronger person. As one of my dearest held my hand and face, I squeezed her hand back, and that was enough. I knew I was loved, and this mere thought was enough. I knew that I have a bigger world out there that matters more. Even admidst the show, friends sms-ed, one who declared “Mein Gott” (heh heh, you always crack me up, hon.). It took me this long to realise, but my heart is full. That there are bigger and better things out there for me. And maybe, just maybe, I could really be happy. :)

Moving on. I wanted to stay longer for the show, but I had to leave for my dance mate’s 21st party. She looked absolutely gorgeous. (Man, that was one gem of a saree!) Music was good, hosting was good, the dance floor was great. Although I was late, I was so glad I made it. Saw all my girls I haven’t seen in months. Miss them absolutely. Can’t wait to get back in class next month. Really can’t wait.

And then, last night I had the strangest dream. Hmm. But I can’t remember much admidst the pain of the sprain of my big toe. Ouch. Shall limp away to lunch now. I realise how random this entry is, but oh well. It’s fare thee well for now. (in every sense of the phrase.) *smile*

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5 Responses to “Strange sightings.”

  1. You’re a strong little girl. Take care ma. and I’ll be seeing you soon! :)

  2. Oh and as for re-committing. Just take all the time you want and need. There’s really no hurry to jump right back into something, for however right it might seem right then. If it’s right, no harm waiting just a bit. :)
    *big hug*

  3. *big big hug* thank you so much. i dont want to hurry either and make any more mistakes. I don’t see the need. There is some pressure building up around me, but I shall talk to you about that personally. Can’t wait to see you!

  4. Great fan Says:

    U saw *****??? was he already with another gal.Y not confront him abt it.

  5. Erm. Even if he was, why should I? It’s his life now. He can be with whoever he choose to. And dear, don’t we have better things to worry about? Like my life? Which he is no longer part of? So why worry about things not part of the life of your’s truly? heehee. :p

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