Time Heals All Wounds

I never ever beieved in that old adage, but I guess I do now.
I never believed even for one second that I will be able to bounce back up from where I came from, but I have.
It was extremely difficult to let go.
I cannot begin to desribe how difficult it was.
Every single place had memories. You could literally see the past being played out.
Those moments of laughter, subtle touches of intimacy like the graze of a hand, or lips on the cheek.
The whacky moments. The quiet contemplative ones.

Everything plays infront of you like an old movie reel.
You reach out to touch and feel, and then you realise that it doesn't matter anymore.
That you don't feel anything anymore.
While your heart expects some kind of overwhelming emotion of love, heartbreak and loss, you are gently surprised to find that the only graze of emotion is a mild nostalgia. You smile, shake your head a little, and walk away. Amused at how quickly things change, people change, you change, and the world doesn't stop spinning.

It was worse trying to accept a few things, and the way that these things were being justified, but then you realise that there is no point in caring about things like these anymore.
The truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.
People will choose to believe only what they want to.
And they will act accordingly.
Similarly, I have also realised through this period that people will also justify and validate their actions, in the worst possible ways, even though it does not make sense to the rest of the world (well, most of us anyway.), but you know what, as long as everyone is happy in the end, why should it matter, as long as you aren't hurting yourself, or other people around you. Something that I have been guilty of for a long time, and that took me a painful lesson to learn. The people you should never, ever hurt are those in your family, and I had done that for a little too long.

Four years later, I guess one thing that strikes me crystal clear, is that planning is not always a good thing. I get just a little amused at how we make our plans, all clear-cut and neat, only to find things turn three-hundred and sixty degrees, and that what you get in the end is something that you would have never, never imagined in your wildest dreams. (Infact, I think about it now and I am actually able to laugh at the absurdity of the whole situation.)

And then you realise that our dreams have to be built again. And this time, you know you can make it better. From scratch. No emotional baggage. And this is what I choose to see in my situation.

A lot of things have changed in my life. And my heart feels lighter. I feel lighter. (though I admit I have been piling on the pounds with sorbets and every other food imaginable thanks to SLP and family. hehe) My life has changed in many directions, and my soul feels cleaner now. My family, I am so so blessed for. I went to temple the other day and prayed for everyone involved in this mess. For their and my happiness. We have a lot of things to be blessed for, and as long as we realise this, I guess we can pick ourselves up no matter how many times we break.

As for myself and this blog, it was a very transcient thing this.
After four years of my life literally crashed and burned at diary-x, with no back-up, it was strange. It seemed so prophetic, did it not?
But I am moving on now.
And I am going to another place.
Thank you for bearing with me all of you, and for caring for me, more importantly, those faceless, nameless people, and my dearest, dearest friends.
For those of you who feel like they still want to hear my occasional rambling and musing, (I cannot imagine why!) and things and such, do e-mail me for my new address.
It might be interesting to see how the story goes on…

(but I'm not promising anything. ;) )

Advertisements

8 Responses to “Time Heals All Wounds”

  1. Hi meera, I’ve been reading your blog for abt 3 yrs now from the day u took yr driving licence & all. Can I know yr new blog address? Thanks!

  2. Im glad ur better now =)

  3. hey there, bumped into ya blog 3 mths ago… i have no idea who u r and i dun tink u noe who i am either. but feel tat i cld relate so much to ya entries, cus i just broke up wif ma bf for 4 yrs and suddenly the world just crumbled b4 ma eyes and i feel so caught in da grief and finding answers for da failed relationship. im suffer from a consuming grief, depression, anxiety, anger, low self-esteem, lack of closure, insecurities, jealousy, and envy… geesh, i sound like im mentally unstable rite? well.. ya entries actually helped to coax me tat im not da only one going through torture daily and im also getting inspired by the ways u r getting stronger everyday through ya pals and family. cheers gal!!

    The healing’s begun, but not done yet,
    As through our pain, our hope we renew,
    All the angels on the internet.

    We’ve grown in strength, we’ll not be upset,
    Glorious new dreams we now pursue,
    The best of friends, yet we’ve never met
    shObs

  4. you know…i know i am useless in this but i can really feel what you are going through.I am happy to hear that you are recovering from whatevers been happening.Takkaire ok.Love ya so much sister!!

  5. YAY!!! Meera’s finally back!!

    Its the little things they make me so happy
    All I want to do is live by the sea.
    Its the little things they make me so happy
    Yeah its good, yes its good
    Its good to be free..

    – Oasis

  6. babe it was good reading this entry =)
    take good care babes. *hugz*

  7. highpriestess Says:

    ngelic8: looks like i’m not moving as yet. darn it. hehe bad habits die hard. well, habits in general. ;)

    Ambiga: mwah! thanks dear.

    Shobs: no you don’t sound mentally unstable. if you do, then I wld be a medically certified nutcase. if you need to talk, drop me a mail if you have my add. or look me up on friendster and msg. me. will be glad to help, dear. anytime. hug. i hope you feel better soon. well. i know you will. :)

    Vanz: love you my baby girl. when we going out again?

    François Cordeau: same to ya, sir! :)

    Karthik: It sure is good to be free. :P

    Mel: *hugz* till we bump into each other in an MRT station again. hehehe

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: