Stabbed.

Betrayal.
Once it’s done, it’s hard ever to go back.
My conscience is clear. I’ve made some mistakes. I’ve spoken the truth.
But I have never,  never, ever abused the trust given to me,

nor have I twisted a knife in someone’s back.

I may not have seemed to care, I may not have seemed to be there. God knows. And that is enough.
But I never betrayed.
Never.

It’s all been done.Nothing much to be said, just that you question feelings that you once thought existed.
I can’t believe the things that were said, and the way they were said, more importantly.
When you put your heart out there, I guess shit happens.
Well.
Lesson learnt.
Time to move on. (Please as blog readers, do not assume move on from who. It’s tiring to explain myself. It’s my blog anyway. I don’t publicise my life. Just my feelings. So it sucks when people try to use that against you. Infact it is gut wrenching when people try to use anything you trust them enough to tell them against you. It's okay. My stupidity. I deserve it. Should have known better. Anyway. Thank you all for your supportive comments, even those who have no idea what is going on. Thank you anyway. For those readers who are concerned about this faceless person, I will be okay, and thank you. It will be difficult. But life goes on, doesn’t it? It always will. As long as you know you haven’t advertently caused hurt to anyone, or turned a blind eye to someone’s life on the line. If my life is a game of cards even after all I have said and done…. Hahahaha. Do I laugh or cry.)
Well.
I have digressed within parentheses yet again. 

It’s time I became stronger.
Picked up myself.
And see who were there right from the start.
And who means it when they say my happiness is the only thing that mattered.

And saw the truth.
That hurts.
Like hell.

But I guess the best part of this all, is that anger and realisation,
is better than depression and delusion.

Well. Good for me!

I'm off

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6 Responses to “Stabbed.”

  1. gd for u gal!!!

  2. Bhagwas Bhai Says:

    R u sure??

  3. i noe what it feels like to be stabbed. my heart goes out to you. and yes, anger and realisation is tonnes better than depression and delusion.

  4. *BEEG BEEG BEAR HUGZ*
    i feel very sad reading your current entries.tho as u mentioned i’m one of those who kinda has no clue wats going on. but the heartbreakin sense of helplessness is felt. i hope u will regain moments of happiness n eventually full blown chocolate-brownie-ice cream from ben & jerry’s- kinda happiness. u take care babez.

  5. Ibrahim Says:

    yo babe, life goes on..
    realisation is the key to moving on..
    u r a strong woman
    do what u know is right
    that is what matters

    take care

  6. Trinklet Says:

    Heya girl…I was very into self criticism for a large part of my life… It kept me occupied…alot… :) It made me such an unhappy person…Being sad felt like such a normal thing that I was perpetually wrapping myself around reasons or people that made me feel that way.. Suddently one fine day it dawned upon me that I dont actually need to give as much as a rat’s ass to people or things that brought me down.. Life s more fun being selfish ;)

    Unwrap yourself Meera… ;) Start with 1 purely selfish act a day…!where you act with only yourself in mind, detached from past issues that is…Its liberating..very liberating…:)

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