Archive for May, 2006

Posted in Archive - All Entries on May 23, 2006 by meera

How?

It’s Time To Let Go.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on May 20, 2006 by meera

I will miss you.

But it's all over.

I'm letting go now.

It has been difficult. Almost too difficult.
But the time has come. Maybe almost too late.
But it's here.

Thank you for everything,
it was magical while it lasted.
We've shared the best times and the worst.
We've had our best times and the worst.
And I am truly sorry for the things I've said and done that hurt.
I only wish you well, now.

I wish you didn't do the things you did.
I wish you had stopped just for one minute,
to listen to what I had to say.
I wish you didn't say the things you said.
I wish you stop saying the things you say,
when you know it's not the truth.
I wish you would stop lying.
I wish you would explain… everything.

But I've stopped wishing.
Goodbye, my dear.
You were my family and my bestfriend, my everything.
I hope you find happiness.
And peace.
I hope you stop hurting.
And then..
you'll find,

life goes on.

Always has. And always will.

The only difference is that you realise, after all these years,
that perhaps, the person you thought you knew so well,
thoughts, dreams, actions, words and all,
isn't really the person you thought you knew.

And that, is the only thing,
that is only too hard, too painful, and all too frightening to learn.

Don’t Speak.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on May 16, 2006 by meera

The perfect song.
For now.
Maybe a few more months. And a few more years.
Maybe that's all it takes?

No Doubt.

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are…
You and me I can see us dying…are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

Hush, hush darling.
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts.

Runaway.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on May 16, 2006 by meera

Sometimes,

the temptation to run away and leave everything familiar and painful behind,

and to start a whole new life afresh,

from scratch,

brand-new,

is very, very

overwhelming.

Sometimes.

Posted in Archive - All Entries, Reflection on May 14, 2006 by meera

Sometimes….

everything you once believed in and trusted in with every little bit of your self and soul,

disappears into thin air infront of you..

in a heartbeat..

and, poof..

it's all gone.

and then you realise,

you've been angry at all the wrong things,

and all the wrong persons.

And the joke's been on you, for a long time coming.

p.s.: Have I really been that of an awful, self-centered person? I'm afraid I'm starting to believe that myself. 

House of Cards.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on May 11, 2006 by meera

My life is not a card game.
I don't play card tricks.
Only one person knew the insides of me so well,
like the back of his hand.
If he told me I had a game to play….no.
He knows I don't have a game to play.
I don't need games.
Not now.
Never did.
Never will.

And another soul who is a mirror of myself.
Whom I loved deeply. But who never knew.
And who never understood. It was a mutual thing, I suppose, in retrospect.
Years of bitterness. Yet, we both knew each other's deepest, darkest, vilest secrets.
Because of trust. Because mirrors don't lie.
What you don't expect, is for it to be used against you.
It is at the very least, vindictive.

It's funny.
You stand on the world's stage,
keeping so much of yourself to yourself,
afraid to get hurt again,
to allow yourself to get hurt again.
Instead, you pour yourself into someone else's heart.
Only one.
And what the world sees is your empty shell.
Your self drained out of your own essence.
Your essence in someone else's vial.
And if the world wants to judge that empty shell,
I guess they can go ahead.
Because.
Empty.
Shells.
Don't.
Play.
Games.

What hurts is that this carefully built House of Cards,
that took years to build.
This House of Cards,
Of dreams of Hearts, and visions of Diamonds,
Of Kings and Queens and Jacks and happily ever afters,

collapses.
Each carefully placed card, cascading down,
infront of your tear streamed eyes,
your empty shell, still drained, the glass vial that once held you,
shattered into shards of glass,
like a million pieces of tiny shiny ice.

And there you stand,
infront of your own House of Cards,
as the biggest Joker of them all.

Laughed.
Mocked.
Misunderstood.

And until they all realise,
I don't have any of that cladenstine card up my sleeve,
I guess,
they can think what they want to think,
until they ask.

To think, I always thought mirrors would need no explanation.
But I guess, even your own reflection is unsure of itself.
Or perhaps, I just thought wrong.
All along.

Tailor-made Hallmark Cards.

Posted in Archive - All Entries on May 11, 2006 by meera

Saw something in the papers today that made me chuckle.
Ironically, of course.
Since they were meant to be taken tongue-in-cheek.
But, it just suited my situation to a tee.
When should I send this out?

Before you go, I would like you to take this knife out of my back.

You'll probably need it again.

ha. ha. ha.

life.