drained out.

wow. i have never felt so drained and exhuasted. but I have come to a conclusion. I'd rather be mentally drained then emotionally and spiritually. But I'm starting to think something else. I think although I have been drained out of emotions and spirit, its the work that I'm giving myself physically and mentally that distracts me from the trauma that I am repressing. Yes yes. psychoanalysts are going to jump on that one and say that there's an explosion waiting to happen. heat simmering within. and one fine day, it boils over, burning everything in its path. right.

but thats not the way i work, i usually work on self-destruct mode, which was the way i was headed. in fact i think i had gone there then travelled back. but ta-da, here i am, working my brains out. and stressing over school.i'd rather do that. men are too tiring. people need too much work. but books and academia. they're just there. waiting for me to absorb every single important and completely unnecessary and impractical detail. time to do that. but first, i have to get some sleep. i yawn too much. night.

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8 Responses to “drained out.”

  1. I just found your blog on a random list, and I just wanted to let you know that although I am not sure what you are going through, I hope things will get better for you.

  2. :) thanks dear. i’m doing much better. life is getting back into control. so that’s always a good thing. -hug-

  3. Hey love, I know. I am trying to go back to books as well. I am trying to read Sartre’s “Being and Nothingness” but … failing really badly. I also have Ulysses to read! Gilbert will be proud of me, don’t you think?? I miss his classes, with you. I also have an essay to write (actually two, but I’m thinking of screwing the other.. we don’t get a “fail” here in Germany unless we write a horrible essay that’s worth only a U grade… hoho!)

    I miss you. *hugs* Talk to you on MSN my dear.

  4. hahah man i wish we had a similar essay system! its horrible. :| i have two essays due. no. actually three this month. oh goodness. and two next month. perrrrfect. and a mid-term this sat. (hv i started studying? noooope.) sigh. i miss you too love. really wish you were here. *hugs and kisses*

  5. Lavathena Says:

    mwah!

  6. Love you honey!

  7. hehe love you too sweetheart, and missing you like crazy.

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