Comments on: Dilemmas of a Young Single, Indian Woman Looking to Settle Down in Singapore. http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/ charms, potions & a lil' bit of me... Sat, 19 Jul 2008 07:04:14 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=MU By: Paradox Phillic http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3953 Paradox Phillic Fri, 04 Jul 2008 22:55:55 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3953 So i am not alone... Dont worry girl, you are very, i repeat, VERY young to worry about that just as YET. If you wish to feel better... i suggest u hear experiences of single woman like me :) I have listed my experiences in "Amusement Calling" series in my blog http://one-more-why.blogspot.com/ Hope that makes you feel better! So i am not alone…
Dont worry girl, you are very, i repeat, VERY young to worry about that just as YET.

If you wish to feel better… i suggest u hear experiences of single woman like me :)
I have listed my experiences in “Amusement Calling” series in my blog http://one-more-why.blogspot.com/

Hope that makes you feel better!

]]> By: auntyrems http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3929 auntyrems Sun, 24 Feb 2008 01:36:46 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3929 check out an article on this subject at http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry it is difficult to find a good guy these days, so if your family is willing to assist, take it as your "right". these days most women I know are are searching the net, the bars, waiting for someone to introduce them to guys... They have tv shows aping the "broker" in Asian societies (the rich guy getting shown 5 girls to choose from)... so why not look at arranged marriage as being not old fashioned but as a practice that was before its time... In India, the men are brought home.. in history you have the Swayamvar where the girl could check out a line of men who had all been vetted by her parents, relatives....etc... Take advantage of old and new practices, make a wise choice...and have a happy life... check out an article on this subject at http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry

it is difficult to find a good guy these days, so if your family is willing to assist, take it as your “right”. these days most women I know are are searching the net, the bars, waiting for someone to introduce them to guys… They have tv shows aping the “broker” in Asian societies (the rich guy getting shown 5 girls to choose from)… so why not look at arranged marriage as being not old fashioned but as a practice that was before its time… In India, the men are brought home.. in history you have the Swayamvar where the girl could check out a line of men who had all been vetted by her parents, relatives….etc… Take advantage of old and new practices, make a wise choice…and have a happy life…

]]> By: Queen of Drama. http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3787 Queen of Drama. Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:11:23 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3787 wah so much bustling activity on this blog ley. =P i can't WAIT to be arranged off. I think it's the most romantic thing in the world. hehe. And music, i completely agree, that arranged marriages nowadays no longer have to be about being with someone u don't know. It's about getting to know someone your parents narrowed down for you. =) double filter, see? priestess, phoenix - for goodness sakes, stop TALKING like old maids. When you are both married, u two will say, sigh i wish i has let my singlehood last longer. go and enjoy your singlehood. and when it's time to get married, god will get you married la. Let Go and Let God. *wink* wah so much bustling activity on this blog ley. =P

i can’t WAIT to be arranged off. I think it’s the most romantic thing in the world. hehe.

And music, i completely agree, that arranged marriages nowadays no longer have to be about being with someone u don’t know. It’s about getting to know someone your parents narrowed down for you. =) double filter, see?

priestess, phoenix - for goodness sakes, stop TALKING like old maids. When you are both married, u two will say, sigh i wish i has let my singlehood last longer. go and enjoy your singlehood. and when it’s time to get married, god will get you married la. Let Go and Let God. *wink*

]]> By: M http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3782 M Mon, 10 Dec 2007 13:58:27 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3782 My parents have been bugging me to find someone too - of course they don't allow you to date when you are in school but once uni is over they miraculously expect you to introduce them to their future son-in-law. Since I can't meet any decent Indian men I've told my dad I was open to him introducing me to anyone he thought was suitable... let me just say, its not as easy as I thought it would be. *big sigh* p/s is there a club I can join? for potential spinsters or something? My parents have been bugging me to find someone too - of course they don’t allow you to date when you are in school but once uni is over they miraculously expect you to introduce them to their future son-in-law. Since I can’t meet any decent Indian men I’ve told my dad I was open to him introducing me to anyone he thought was suitable… let me just say, its not as easy as I thought it would be. *big sigh*

p/s is there a club I can join? for potential spinsters or something?

]]> By: Music http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3781 Music Mon, 10 Dec 2007 06:16:37 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3781 I know what you mean about marrying someone you don't know...cos that is really frightening, and by the time you do find out it's too late. But most arranged marriages these days are such that parents just find the person, and you do get to know them before anything is finalised. That is how it is with me and my other friends who are being arranged marriaged off. I have no fear that I will marry someone I don't know. I hope you do find that one person, you're a real romantic and I feel strongly that you are a good person and hence I think you deserve to find the right one in exactly the way you wish. So go get him Priestess! :) I know what you mean about marrying someone you don’t know…cos that is really frightening, and by the time you do find out it’s too late. But most arranged marriages these days are such that parents just find the person, and you do get to know them before anything is finalised. That is how it is with me and my other friends who are being arranged marriaged off. I have no fear that I will marry someone I don’t know.

I hope you do find that one person, you’re a real romantic and I feel strongly that you are a good person and hence I think you deserve to find the right one in exactly the way you wish.

So go get him Priestess! :)

]]> By: highpriestess http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3779 highpriestess Sun, 09 Dec 2007 12:27:49 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3779 It would be a last resort for me, because in some corner of my heart, I still strongly believe in finding that one person.. to love, I guess. Instead of being arranged to love someone. There will be a case for and against love/arranged marriages, but I personally find the idea of marrying someone you don't know about a little unsettling.. hmm. It would be a last resort for me, because in some corner of my heart, I still strongly believe in finding that one person.. to love, I guess. Instead of being arranged to love someone. There will be a case for and against love/arranged marriages, but I personally find the idea of marrying someone you don’t know about a little unsettling.. hmm.

]]> By: Music http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3778 Music Sun, 09 Dec 2007 08:47:49 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3778 The arranged marriage thing is not necessarily a last resort as there are some women...aka me...who see it as a better alternative then finding someone yourself. Of course i think it is to each his own, it wont work for some people, just like trying to find someone on your own might not work for some people. However, you are completely right on many accounts. We're not getting younger, and dating seems to come with its own pitfalls. Maybe arranged marriage might not be a last resort for u? Hehe. ;) The arranged marriage thing is not necessarily a last resort as there are some women…aka me…who see it as a better alternative then finding someone yourself. Of course i think it is to each his own, it wont work for some people, just like trying to find someone on your own might not work for some people.

However, you are completely right on many accounts. We’re not getting younger, and dating seems to come with its own pitfalls. Maybe arranged marriage might not be a last resort for u? Hehe. ;)

]]> By: highpriestess http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3777 highpriestess Sun, 09 Dec 2007 04:34:45 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3777 I know exactly what you mean. Forget good. How about normal? You know, normal men. With normal attitudes and normal feelings and normal behaviorial patterns and normal reactions. Ahh. I know exactly what you mean. Forget good. How about normal? You know, normal men. With normal attitudes and normal feelings and normal behaviorial patterns and normal reactions. Ahh.

]]> By: Phoenix http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3776 Phoenix Sun, 09 Dec 2007 03:32:25 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3776 The second part of my conversation with mom included me telling her to just step back and let me make decisions for my life. She's had her turn already; that period of her life is over. She had her life to live already. She was 25 once. That's over. Now, it's my turn. I told her that even if she thinks it is a mistake, to let me make it. All she has to do as family is be my support regardless what happens. It is I who will be married to the man. Not her. I am the one who will wake up to him everyday; not her. I told her she's had her chance, and to back off. She just kept quiet, then later said she just didn't want me to regret anything. You know Meera, it's hard enough finding a suitable man, be it in secret on in the open. But parents make it hard enough by imposing all these unrealistic expectations of their future son-in-law. I watched Miss Potter recently, and one scene had me in stitches. Miss Potter falls in love with her publisher, Norman Warne, and he proposes. Miss Potter goes to tell Millie (Norman's single sister) and get her approval – since Millie’s two single friends are now going to be “leaving” her. This is the conversation that takes place: Miss Potter: You'll be alone. Millie: You have a chance for happiness and you're worrying about me? I wouldn't worry about you if...if someone came along who loved me and whom I loved, I would trample my mother! Millie: Do you love Norman? Miss Potter: Yes. Millie: Then marry him. Don't you dare think about anyone else. Miss Potter: But what about all the blessings of being alone? Millie: Hogwash. What else is a woman on her own supposed to say? You have a chance to be loved, take it. If someone came along who loved me and whom I wish I could say I would trample my mother, I really do Meera! Hahaha. It's hard enough finding a good man!!! The second part of my conversation with mom included me telling her to just step back and let me make decisions for my life. She’s had her turn already; that period of her life is over. She had her life to live already. She was 25 once. That’s over. Now, it’s my turn. I told her that even if she thinks it is a mistake, to let me make it. All she has to do as family is be my support regardless what happens. It is I who will be married to the man. Not her. I am the one who will wake up to him everyday; not her. I told her she’s had her chance, and to back off. She just kept quiet, then later said she just didn’t want me to regret anything.

You know Meera, it’s hard enough finding a suitable man, be it in secret on in the open. But parents make it hard enough by imposing all these unrealistic expectations of their future son-in-law.

I watched Miss Potter recently, and one scene had me in stitches.

Miss Potter falls in love with her publisher, Norman Warne, and he proposes. Miss Potter goes to tell Millie (Norman’s single sister) and get her approval – since Millie’s two single friends are now going to be “leaving” her. This is the conversation that takes place:

Miss Potter: You’ll be alone.

Millie: You have a chance for happiness and you’re worrying about me? I wouldn’t worry about you if…if someone came along who loved me and whom I loved, I would trample my mother!

Millie: Do you love Norman?

Miss Potter: Yes.

Millie: Then marry him. Don’t you dare think about anyone else.

Miss Potter: But what about all the blessings of being alone?

Millie: Hogwash. What else is a woman on her own supposed to say? You have a chance to be loved, take it.

If someone came along who loved me and whom I wish I could say I would trample my mother, I really do Meera! Hahaha. It’s hard enough finding a good man!!!

]]> By: highpriestess http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3775 highpriestess Sun, 09 Dec 2007 01:49:29 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3775 Anantya: hahaha it really is very frustrating! like seriously. i cant think of a solution where everyone can be happy. hmm. Phoenix aka Persephone: hahahahahah! Girl, it's okay. I'm just glad that I'm not alone on this. Sometimes, I think I'm doomed to be an old maid too. My friends are getting hitched too and having babies. In a few months, I'm hitting the age where more people get hitched. AHHH! It's freaking scary! And thats so true, how do you NOT date and find that man? I dont get it. Just dont. Anantya: hahaha it really is very frustrating! like seriously. i cant think of a solution where everyone can be happy.
hmm.

Phoenix aka Persephone: hahahahahah! Girl, it’s okay. I’m just glad that I’m not alone on this. Sometimes, I think I’m doomed to be an old maid too. My friends are getting hitched too and having babies. In a few months, I’m hitting the age where more people get hitched. AHHH! It’s freaking scary! And thats so true, how do you NOT date and find that man? I dont get it. Just dont.

]]> By: Phoenix http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3774 Phoenix Sun, 09 Dec 2007 00:38:09 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3774 HOly shit did I just use the nickname Persephone. *RIPS HAIR OUT* This topic has had more of an impact on me that I'd expected! HOly shit did I just use the nickname Persephone.

*RIPS HAIR OUT*

This topic has had more of an impact on me that I’d expected!

]]> By: Persephone http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3773 Persephone Sun, 09 Dec 2007 00:36:12 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3773 The following was a conversation between mom & I over the phone 1 week ago: Me: Ma, alot of my friends from pri/sec/JC school have gotten married. Can you believe A just had a baby, and B got married last weekend, and C is expecting her third child! Mom: So, when are YOU getting married, girl? Me: For as long as you're in my life, I'll never get married. Mom: HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Why do say that? All I want is for you to marry a good boy who is educated and has a good job and takes care of you! If he's Ceylonese, even better! Me: I HAD a guy who was all of that, even Ceylonese, but apparently he was too ugly for me. Mom: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Me: It's hard enough finding a GOOD man these days who is NOT gay, but on top of that, he has to be 'this', 'that', 'the other'. There is just never a man good enough for you. Mom: Ya, that's true. *giggle* Meera, I'm doomed to be an old maid. She thinks it's funny, but it's NOT. I am twenty-bloody-five and the entire world is getting hitched but me. If I'm not perfect, how can they expect some perfect man? And on top of that, to find him without DATING. I want to die lah. The following was a conversation between mom & I over the phone 1 week ago:

Me: Ma, alot of my friends from pri/sec/JC school have gotten married. Can you believe A just had a baby, and B got married last weekend, and C is expecting her third child!

Mom: So, when are YOU getting married, girl?

Me: For as long as you’re in my life, I’ll never get married.

Mom: HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Why do say that? All I want is for you to marry a good boy who is educated and has a good job and takes care of you! If he’s Ceylonese, even better!

Me: I HAD a guy who was all of that, even Ceylonese, but apparently he was too ugly for me.

Mom: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: It’s hard enough finding a GOOD man these days who is NOT gay, but on top of that, he has to be ‘this’, ‘that’, ‘the other’. There is just never a man good enough for you.

Mom: Ya, that’s true. *giggle*

Meera, I’m doomed to be an old maid. She thinks it’s funny, but it’s NOT. I am twenty-bloody-five and the entire world is getting hitched but me. If I’m not perfect, how can they expect some perfect man? And on top of that, to find him without DATING.

I want to die lah.

]]> By: Anantya http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3772 Anantya Sat, 08 Dec 2007 23:53:10 +0000 http://highpriestess.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/dilemmas-of-a-young-single-indian-woman-looking-to-settle-down-in-singapore/#comment-3772 wahahahahaha. that last paragraph was what i was trying to explain to my mother a few mths ago. :p wahahahahaha.
that last paragraph was what i was trying to explain to my mother a few mths ago.
:p

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