“When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there’s no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”
I’m broke, tired and lonely.
The only two adjectives that are missing would be old and cold.
How is it that my favourite holiday can bring such holiday jeer to my life? It’s quite fascinating, really. I read in our local newspaper that the holiday season brings bouts of depression to people because of the cold weather and because the what-you-dont-haves are exaggerated in view of the jolly, merry general atmosphere.
But then again, how is it that people who are blessed with so much feel such emotional dips?
As the new year of 2008 looms infront of us, many amongst ourselves may be making mental checklists of what we have achieved over the twelve long months of 2007, and what lies ahead. To be honest, I felt 2007 zoomed past too quickly, in a flash. It feels like years ago since I received my last proper paycheck and a relatively plump bank account. As I scrape the bottom of the barrel, I find myself wondering really how I had gotten myself in this situation. It is a phenomenon. The very interesting bit was adapting to a student’s life again. And living off your parents at the grand ol’ age of 23 (going on 24), is hardly something to be proud of. Next year, I am getting a real, real job. Something that will actually pay my bills and let me have proper dinners. It is times like these I ask myself how is it I had the courage to abandon that life, fully knowing that this was going to be it in a couple of months. I had to eat humble pie and ask for help, something that I try my best not to do in other situations. But since it’s family, I’m guessing it’s alright. The circle will evetually complete. I actually cannot wait for 2008 to come. 2007 has been like all years a rollercoaster, a relatively quiet one to the dramatic year before, but it still had its absolute highs and downright lows. But what matters most is that I have my loved ones right next to me as we usher in 2008, despite the drama.
The new year heralds much for me. It’s a brand new start. A shining beacon of light. (insert any other allegory you deem fit) For once, it’s a first time, in a long long time, I’m actually truly, absolutely single on New Year’s Eve. I have learned that this is not a bad thing. The time alone has made me learn a lot about myself and reevaluate what I want and more importantly, what I need. Nobody owes me anything, and likewise, I don’t owe anyone anything. Not now anyway. I’m keeping my heart safe for the moment. I need to step into 2008 with a clear, level-headed mind. Apparently, I’m coming across as unemotional and aloof, but it’s necessary. Consider it an investment for my future sanity. : )
What I am most excited about is moving into our new place. Having lived at the end of the MRT line on the East side, it is absolutely fantastic to have an MRT station right at your doorstep. I feel so much closer to civilisation and the journeys don’t tire me, and my make-up doesnt melt. It takes me about half an hour to get to Harbour Front. More importantly, I need the new space. And I’m loving my new room. It is nearly three fifths the size of my current room, but I am not complaining. It gives me an excuse to clear my old junk and make space for more. The family has bonded over the new place and we’re extremely thrilled. It’s coming along perfectly. Thanks to a few of my closest and dearest friends, my two major sources of wealth-depletion, ie. clothes and books, have been shifted over. Raji dearest commanded me to get rid of clothes that I hadn’t worn in ages. I’m going to write about space saving soon. I’ve learned so much!
Well. I think I have rattled on long enough. At this current moment, many things hang on a balance right now, and I have no idea on what note the new year is going to start. But I’m going to end with a line I heard on the cruise that I went for recently, and how true this is: You’re not here for a long time. You’re here for a good time. So get out there!
Cheers, and season’s greetings to all.
My Horoscope for today.
Straight from where else, but Facebook.
There’s nothing wrong with experimenting, but certain combinations just aren’t mean to go together. A friend may know of someone who would be the perfect match for you. You may look desperate, but try asking around to see who is available. Keep your eyes and ears open for new and exciting opportunities.
Right. Anyone knows of anyone? I’m a bit cautious of the word Perfect these days. hahaha
I’m off. Girly Sleepover awaits!
Her body is exhuasted, unaccustomed to this fit of wakefulness.
It is 4 a.m. and she ought to be asleep, but for tonight, sleep has been elusive.
Her mind a wanderer, exploring gardens of paradise and the depths of hell.
She swings between two extremes. A mental torture, this.
Her soul feels strangely empty, after having been filled, like a goblet of wine that runneth over.
How fast she has gone to barren and bare from lush, beautiful and completely full.
Stop, think, sleep.. and stop again.
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