Darn Retainers.

I should be doing my assignment and eating briyani with my friend and watching TV and doing normal things.
But it’s really funny how a pain in your mouth can completely suck all joy from normal day-to-day activities. I was very inspired to write an entry on The One as I last commented, but I am a bit too distracted.

I’m wondering if this pain is worth it. I actually tear. It reminds me of the times where I had to get my braces tightened every month. It was sheer torture. And while my whole mouth used to hurt for one day, a single tooth plus the bone and gum above it is hurting terribly now. I can’t eat, can’t move my mouth, it just completely sucks. That’s all I can say. I’m wondering if I should just live with a slightly tipped tooth. Apparently, no one except me can see the difference. It’s a very very slight tilt, but I want to curb it before it gets worse and too obvious. Then, all the efforts over 4 years would go down the drain.

Crap. I only have one word now (other than crap), Ow. Major, major Ow.

Fighting.

Right now, I’m getting slightly jaded, and am feeling like no one should fight for anything, and I want to stay away from conflict with a ten-foot pole, or longer, whichever. Feeling very melancholic.

The question as you grow older is, when is something worth fighting for?

Am I?

Ah.

“On one level, I didn’t expect to fall in love… But, honestly, I also felt like this was the person I’d been waiting for. There was a feeling of relief – a feeling of ‘Oh, here you are, finally.’”

-Julianna Baggott, It’s A Wonderful Lie: 26 Truths About Life in Your Twenties

Life after.

Well.
The past one month has been rather eventful and stressful.
But I am actually surprised at the way I’m handling things.
While I miss a great deal of things, I am truly amazed at how things are turning out.
For once, I actually feel relieved, and happier.
Even though I was happy, I realised that there was a lot of bitterness in me. And this bitterness actually translated itself into other relationships I had with people.
Not a good thing, I have come to realise.
Once in a while, I break down into tears. They come fast and furious, with the choking throat, the knot bursting and then tears. So many memories, in such a short time. But as harsh as the outbursts are, they last for a short while and they go away as fast as they come. It’s worse because I don’t have any ill feelings towards anyone, and I only wish the very very best, because that is what they deserve. Truly. :)

My friends and my family, again, are absolutely amazing, and are rock solid.
Nothing short of that.
I have said it once, and I will say it again, I am immensely, immensely blessed.
Which is why I probably have so much of love to give.
It is only when you are truly happy, can you channel this happiness outwards, to make a difference in someone else’s life.

On a lighter note, my appointment book is getting fuller and fuller. Making plans to meet friends I have not met in ages. WOMAD beckons as well, but uh, I have not gotten the tickets yet. As for school, I am taking some time to get used to the idea of school. I have tons of readings to do for tomorrow, and I have not started, which means that I ought to stop philosophising on life and get some real work done. I am off. :)

The Horrors of School Beckon.

Uh Oh.
I logged onto the IVLE webpage and saw the little, red Announcement button flashing.
I clicked on it and tada! I have an assignment due in two weeks.
I also realise that I have some readings to obtain for Monday’s lecture.
I am one lost sheep.
It has been ages and honestly, my modules aren’t giving me time to breathe!
(Actually, in all honesty, I have been bumming like a big, great bum.)
Time to pull up my socks, and switch to high gear. I’ve to force myself to drag my sorry self to school at least 4 times a week to study or something. Otherwise, I am never ever going to do myself justice.

Assignments.
Due.
Ah. Words that I have not heard in a long, long time.
The welcome evils of school. =)