Today was such a terrible, terrible paper to the extent that I am not even going to talk much about it, except to say I did something that I have never done in all my semesters. I wrote half an essay, that took half an hour, and then scrapped the whole thing and started again, and for my third essay, I had only fifteen minutes. I am effing screwed. BUT. Had to cheer myself up, so went for a haircut. This saloon near my place gives fabulous hairdressing with a head/shoulder/neck massage thrown in. My hair doesn’t look too bad now, except that I feel she has thinned it too much! So that when I tie it up, it looks like a rat’s tail. I was getting all pumped up and wanted to go for a very important friend’s wedding, but my parents felt that I shouldn’t for a certain reason, afraid that any event that unfolded that may affect my exams, and that my friend would understand that. And strangely, I took a short nap and dreamt that I was at the wedding and everything went disastrous there. And coincidentally woke up late, and checked my phone. 30 missed calls. How could I have slept through 30 phone calls????? How could anyone? Realised that perhaps there was a reason, and just accepted it. I sit here feeling very guilty, and irritated at the same time, because I really, really wanted to go. So there is a general feeling of malaise and melancholy. I’m not sure whether I’m falling ill, or just feeling very unsettled.
Yesterday was a very interesting day. A person I had met in very strange circumstances, let’s call this person, SLP (an acronym I shall explain in time to come), sent me a giant of a bouquet of blue roses, that came with a card that said, "Good Luck For Your Exams!!". And this person is currently in Australia. The delivery man stunned me, and greeted me in all my glory of a matching blue oversized T-shirt and hair falling all over my face, paired perfectly with my geek glasses perched prettily on my greasy nose. The flowers blew me away for many reasons. Firstly, they were absolutely gorgeous. Secondly, I have never gotten flowers delivered to me to my house! Never ever never. Thirdly, it really made my day. I mean the bouquet was like a few times the size of my face! (noting that I have a rather big face) The delivery man said, "Delivery for Meera?" And I was like, "Eh?". And he must have looked at me and wondered who the hell sends flowers to deranged, greasy-looking women. And he repeated himself, and I repeated, "Eh ya?". Hahahahaha. I am such an unfeminine nut. He said, "Oh okay, please sign here." Me: "Uhhhhh.. okay.". He hands over big bouquet and I close the door, come in, stare at it and laugh nervously. Hmmm. Even though it was strange, flowers always make a girl's day, don't they? I sent a thank you note and my mum insisted I called for courtesy, which I have not actually. For good reason, but well yeah. The bouquet still sits pretty on my table infront of my laptop, and I'm unsure of what to do with it. I don't want it to wilt and whither in its packaging, and my heart breaks that I may have to dismantle it so I can dry the flowers. Ahhhh. Things I worry about in the heat heart of exams.
Well, then after that, I met my two dear boys for dinner, and had more lucky charms. A pink Unicorn stuffed toy for luck (Unicorn! Unicorn!!! How many unicorn stuffed toys do you see?? Love Unicorns… Absolutely gorgeous mythical animals.. I have always had this deep fascination and admiration for these creatures… I am digressing even within parentheses. I stun myself at times.), and a comfy baby blue sweater to keep me warm during my exams. How sweet of them. As in really. To take the effort and put in their thoughts and care into these things… Into me. sigh.
Sometimes I feel that I really don’t deserve all these gestures of care and concern, since at times I do feel beyond redemption, but at this moment, I thank God for all his blessings. I cannot appreciate enough the people who have entered my life and made a difference, despite the muck of a situation I am in… Oh well. I really ought to go start studying. As in now, I have to absolutely study. To make up for my absolutely brilliant paper today. Perfect-o! It’s time to tango. (with Chekhov, Tennesee Williams, Beckett and Harold Pinter that is). Sigh.
